One of my highest values is authenticity, to be the real me no matter what. But this has
\nnot been easy.<\/p>\n
I grew up in a family with a large, 150-year-old media business in Australia, a company that owned newspapers, television and radio stations, and magazines. After graduating from Oxford, working on Wall Street and getting my M.B.A. from Harvard Business School, in 1987 I launched a $2.25 billion takeover of my family\u2019s company. It is a story for another time, but I felt that the company was not being run according to the ideals of the founder \u2014 my great-great-grandfather \u2014 and was not being well run. This may or may not have been true; but that was my perspective. Three years later, the company filed for bankruptcy.<\/p>\n
My self-esteem was decimated. I felt as if I had let my family, my ancestors, even God, down in some strange way. Embarrassed and ashamed, I pulled back on being the authentic me. In fact, I hid who I was when, a few years later, I tried to get a job in an aviation services company in Maryland. (This was just before the internet became prevalent; it would have been harder to do today.) I did not go to Oxford or Harvard Business School reunions; I believed my classmates would laugh at or ridicule me.<\/p>\n
Over time, I became less ashamed of myself and began to use the lessons from my failure to help others. I decided to lean into my pain and write a book about my mistakes and the lessons I learned from my failed takeover bid of the family company. Crucible Leadership: Embrace Your Trials to Lead a Life of Significance<\/em> comes out in October 2021.<\/p>\n The lesson here is that even if you are afraid to be your true and vulnerable self because you are ashamed \u2014 of past failures or what was done to you or your family or family heritage \u2014 don\u2019t let that hold you back.<\/p>\n When I eventually did attend Oxford and Harvard Business School reunions (with some initial trepidation), my classmates did not ridicule me; they welcomed me. You see, I was not the only one who had been through challenging times \u2014 crucible experiences as I call them.<\/p>\n As I used my failures to help others, I became stronger and even more willing to be myself. This is an important truth in an era when the pressure to fit in, to be who others want and expect us to be, has never been greater. We see it affecting leaders at all levels and of all ages. Young leaders want to put their best foot forward; they want to look or dress the part and not do anything controversial to endanger their career path. Seasoned leaders at or near the top of their organizations don\u2019t want to be seen as out of touch with current trends. They want to fit the image others \u2014 including shareholders, customers and employees \u2014 expect of them; they also want to be respected by younger leaders rising through the organization.<\/p>\n This intense desire to fit in squeezes out authenticity and originality; you can forget who you are. When asked for an opinion, you are tempted to inquire, \u201cWhat do you want my opinion to be?\u201d<\/p>\n So, can you be your true authentic self and be successful? In a word, yes! Here are some thoughts about how to achieve this.<\/p>\n Decide on principle to be yourself. Of course, be respectful to those around you and dress appropriately for where you work. But you can have your own style. You don\u2019t need to be the organization man or organization woman out of some 1950s movie. When you are asked for your opinion, give it. Stop trying to tell people what they want to hear. Be honest! That does not mean yelling or \u2014 if you don\u2019t get your way \u2014 stomping off in a huff. It does mean being forthright in your opinions and recommendations. Decide today that you will be yourself no matter what. If the powers that be are going to fire you for being you, so be it.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s a secret: Being authentic and vulnerable may not hinder your success; in fact, it may enhance your chance of succeeding. Today more than ever, authenticity is valued. Younger leaders want realness and vulnerability. They want to be leveled with, not given the sugar-coated version of the \u201ctruth.\u201d So seasoned leaders should quit trying to tell employees what they think the team wants to hear and tell them the truth. If your company is facing challenges, tell them. Also, be yourself; don\u2019t try to act or dress like you are in your 20s to seem \u201ccool,\u201d if that\u2019s not who you are. A lack of sincerity and authenticity will be apparent. For younger leaders, good senior executives want input; they want to know your perspective. It doesn\u2019t mean they will agree with you and accept your recommendations all the time, but if leaders at the top don\u2019t get good information and a diverse range of opinions, they will not be successful. And if you don\u2019t work in an organization that values input and diverse perspectives, leave. Find an organization with authentic leaders who value that trait in others.<\/p>\n In an era of sameness, conventional wisdom and fear of being different, being the real you can be powerful. Having unique opinions and perspectives makes you stand out \u2014 in a good way. Having the courage to express those opinions \u2014 whether to senior management or key stakeholders, including your board of directors \u2014 also makes you stand out positively. The key is to be clear about your opinions and recommendations. And if you don\u2019t get your way, respond with grace and respect. Assuming the rejection is not a moral issue but a difference in, say, strategic alternatives, if you handle the situation considerately, leaders around you will respect you more. They will know the next time a decision needs to be made, they can count on you to share your honest perspective.<\/p>\n Being your authentic self is not easy. The winds of conformity can erode the best of intentions. Years can go by, and a well-intentioned desire to be the \u201creal you\u201d can fade. Like a lobster boiling, you may not realize you are drifting toward conformity until it is too late. So, how do you avoid being another faceless, bland cog in the organizational machine? Have a support team. Surround yourself with friends, family and mentors who will help you be you. Have the courage to ask them if they see you drifting from authenticity. Give them the freedom to tell you if they think you are \u201cselling out\u201d to what others want you to be. Ideally, you will have mentors who are further down the leadership track than you. If you can find mentors who will advise and support you in your organization, that can be especially helpful. But either way, find a support team that will fight for the real you.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t let anything or anyone hold you back from being your true authentic self. Not other people\u2019s opinions. Not failure. Not past mistakes. Not anything. Your authenticity is your power. Rather than authenticity holding you back, it can actually propel you forward.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of my highest values is authenticity, to be the real me no matter what. But this hasTake a Stand<\/h4>\n
Being Authentic and Vulnerable is Powerful<\/h4>\n
Being the Real You Can Be the Key to Success<\/h4>\n
Have a Support Team<\/h4>\n
\nnot been easy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fall-2021","category-in-the-crucible","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=455"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/455\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":456,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/455\/revisions\/456"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/inthelead\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}