Sam: \u201cDo you remember the Shire Mr. Frodo? It\u2019ll be Spring soon. The orchards will be in blossom\u2026And eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?\u201d<\/p>\n
Frodo: \u201cOh Sam, I can\u2019t recall the taste of food. Nor the sound of water or the touch of grass\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
Sam: \u201cThen let us be rid of it, once and for all. Come on Mr. Frodo! I can\u2019t carry it for you, but I can carry you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Frodo and Sam\u2019s conversation from J.R.R. Tolkien\u2019s “Return of the King” in the Lord of the Rings series is iconic. Frodo, deep within Mordor on the slope of Mt. Doom with Sam, seems to have reached his physical and psychological limits. Frodo\u2019s mission is to destroy the one ring of power, fighting to resist the ring\u2019s ability to overcome him. On the slope, he collapses out of exhaustion and on the verge of madness.<\/p>\n
Frodo\u2019s journey would have ended here if he was alone, that is taking into account whether or not he made it out of the shire. But, in that moment, that moment where Frodo is so close, yet so far from fulfilling his mission, he needs the gift of genuine friendship. Sam recognizes the anguish of his friend, and initially tries to encourage him through memories of home and thoughts of better memories than where they are. <\/p>\n
Frodo\u2019s response indicating his inability to even recall the taste of food, shifts Sam\u2019s approach. Understanding, the state of despair in his friend and the gravity of \u201cFrodo\u2019s success\u201d for the rest of Middle Earth, Sam, in an act of selflessness, literally, \u201cputs the team on his back\u201d for the sake of completing the mission. As Sam exclaims, \u201cbut I can carry you,\u201d the heart cannot help but recognize that their friendship is remarkable and inspiring. This friendship is beautiful, and in a sense, we may even consider to be ideal. But, what are the characteristics that allow this friendship to develop?<\/p>\n
First, there is an underlying connection between Sam and Frodo. They were both from the same region (the Shire), and within that region the same village.<\/p>\n
Second, this underlying connection develops because of devotion to one\u2019s friends. This devotion, as we see in Sam, cares not for the limitations and obstacles set before him. The challenges that Frodo and Sam must endure call for a demonstration of piety through the Christian concept of love. This piety develops through their shared interest and common goal over time. Namely: journeying to destroy the ring of power.<\/p>\n
Third, this friendship is not only grounded in shared interests and responsibilities, but also, good company: The Fellowship of the Ring. This indicates the importance of our associations, and with whom we choose to surround ourselves. The friendship between Frodo and Sam begins through an underlying connection. However, it develops through the active choice to join The Fellowship of the Ring. There was a crucial moment in Rivendell when they both chose to join the mission. Frodo and Sam realize that their homes in the Shire are not safe just because they are far from Mordor, they see that the enemy will soon be knocking at their doors if they do not take up the call to action and join the fellowship.<\/p>\n
Comparing this ideal to Friendship and Company in college:<\/p>\n
As the spring semester kicks off, as students we tend to engage in a bit of reflection about the previous semester. We ask questions like: did I spend enough time studying? Did I go out too much or should I go out more? Perhaps, the more important reflective question centers around our friend group last semester. Who do we spend our immediate time with? <\/p>\n
Now, granted due to the segmentation of the \u201cmodern\u201d university education, part of your friend group will likely be determined by your courses and major. Therefore, it is likely, though not assumed, that our best friends share a similar major. More importantly, like Frodo and Sam, we should share some underlying connection with our better friends. That underlying connection could be having gone to the same high school, going to the same church, or just sharing common interests. <\/p>\n
Comparing these friendships to the ideal, we recognize that first, there are more than enough underlying connections among students and faculty here at SHU for friendship. If nothing else, the connection of being at Seton Hall itself is enough.<\/p>\n
Second, do your friendships have a shared interest or common goal over time? On the surface, certainly yes. The common goal of graduation in is a unifying factor. But, after graduation, many of our \u201cloose\u201d social ties built here will dwindle precipitously. <\/p>\n
Nonetheless, for now, we are united by a common goal, so third, do we actively join activities of interest with our \u201cfriend group?\u201d Many of us have friends in \u201cour crew,\u201d which we hang out with outside of our classes. Then we have friends that we know from clubs we are interested in or our study groups. <\/p>\n
There is a healthy amount of energy directed by administrators and faculty towards ensuring campus involvement. However, usually, we get involved in the things that interest us on our own. In general, we do not join clubs and organizations as a group. Why not get involved alongside your friends? If you and your friend both enjoy gaming, join the gaming club. If you and your friend love reading books and literature, join English club. Etc. There is an active amount of friendship and community coming out from the clubs and associations we are a part of, but not enough friends seeking shared experiences together. This lack of meaningful initiatives for association combining our \u201csocial\u201d friends and our \u201cinterest\u201d friends seems to foster a culture of isolation and loneliness. <\/p>\n
Joining a club with a friend creates accountability and also allows for a more full immersion into your interests. I say from experience, as a weightlifting coach and athlete, that there are few motivating forces stronger for getting in better shape than a training partner. If you have ever tried it, you know it changes your whole approach to when you show up, how often you show up, and how hard you work out when you are there. It logically follows to ask: Why aren\u2019t we joining clubs that we have shared interests with our friends to be our \u201ctraining partners?\u201d<\/p>\n
Further, from a \u201ccounter-enlightenment\u201d perspective, there are two tangible benefits to joining associations with your friends. First, it seems to directly contradict the hyper-individualism (Locke and Jefferson) that might have created the social norm of joining clubs based solely on \u201cyour interests.\u201d Second, this immersion and accountability may allow you to also stave off the growing trend of \u201clazy humanism,\u201d to coin a phrase. Using Fr. Giussani\u2019s explanation of humanism from his Religious Awareness in Modern Man, he says the following:<\/p>\n
\u201cHumanism substituted the ideal of human success for the medieval ideal of sanctity: no longer do all things flow harmoniously together in God, but in the divus, the successful man who relies on his own strength. That is where man is to place his hope; he is to bank on his own energy.\u201d <\/p>\n
Yet, I do not think that humanism is the appropriate label for what seems to be pervasive in our generation. There is not so much a lack of interest in discovering community, genuine friendship, and goodness as much as there is a \u201cdraining force\u201d that depletes our willingness to reach out and discover these truths. Therefore, upon lacking the \u201cstamina\u201d to seek out answers beyond ourselves, it seems many in our generation turn into themselves to become the sole judge of their actions. <\/p>\n
While, I understand that some may turn into themselves out of spite towards that goodness, for most people I believe the turn in occurs more from a \u201csloth of the will.\u201d In others words, \u201clazy humanism.\u201d <\/p>\n
As strong as many of your interests are on your own, be more open to inviting your \u201csocial\u201d friends into your \u201cinterest\u201d friends circle. Considering that the long-term viability and capacity for the development of beautiful friendship seems to be dependent upon the surrounding cultural milieu that the association is grounded within, it might also be possible that the likelihood of your friendship continuing after the \u201cshared goal\u201d of graduation will increase with doing so. Therefore, be proactive. Get involved with activities with your friends. I understand that many of you may already feel overwhelmed by your many commitments. So, do not add another thing to your plate unnecessarily. But, perhaps, there is a \u201csilent\u201d invitation calling you to try a new activity or develop an interest with a friend? In that event, this is an invitation to audaciously accept the invitation. <\/p>\n
The ideal of friendship portrayed by Frodo and Sam is a daunting friendship to extol. Nonetheless, we can all take more steps to strengthen the friendships in our lives. Taking the initiative to build up those friendships requires small acts of courage. Over time, this inclination towards proactively strengthening your friendships will develop more resilient friendships. Then, perhaps, someday soon, you can be the friend who exclaims, \u201cI can\u2019t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sam: \u201cDo you remember the Shire Mr. Frodo? It\u2019ll be Spring soon. The orchards will be in blossom\u2026And eating the first of the strawberries with…<\/p>\n