If I Could Tell My Adolescent Self What I Know Now<\/h1>\n
<\/p>\n
As another birthday passed yesterday, I\u2019m sitting here in awe, reflecting on my life. When I was a kid, I couldn\u2019t wait to grow up. But now that I\u2019m growing up, I wish I wasn\u2019t. My life has been full of contradictions: I\u2019ve witnessed people with nothing smile, and those with everything cry. I\u2019ve seen myself chase the ones who ignore me, but I\u2019ve also ignored the ones who adored me.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve witnessed too many ironies in my life and have gone through painful experiences. Despite learning from these mistakes, I wish I could tell my young self what I know now. And if some genius happens to create a time machine in my lifetime, these are the things that I\u2019d say:<\/p>\n
People will come and go.<\/b><\/p>\n
I think until recently, I\u2019ve had difficulty accepting this fact. Certain people in your life will come and go: friends, significant others, colleagues, classmates, etc. I used to dwell on the past through old posts from Facebook timelines, old pictures, old letters, old videos, or songs that would instantly remind me of some person, place, time period, or memory. And after viewing those things, I\u2019d recall all the memories that I had with that particular person, and although good, the nostalgia stung my heart a bit.<\/p>\n
I\u2019d wonder about what those people are doing now, what they\u2019ve been up to, what made us drift, or if our dynamic could ever be the same again. And with certain people, it may be a blessing and a relief that they are no longer in my life, but with others, I had wished that our paths would align again.<\/p>\n
Paradoxically, the memories made me sad and happy all at the same time. But if I could tell my young self what I know now, I\u2019d remind her that this is just a natural process in life. Sometimes it\u2019s controllable, but other times, it\u2019s out of our power and there\u2019s a time to let go. People that you were once inseparable from are now merely strangers. But if you and that person (whomever it may be) are meant to be in each other\u2019s lives, it\u2019ll happen when it\u2019s the right time.<\/p>\n
You will meet several \u201cPrince Charmings\u201d before you find your king.<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been in several relationships, each wondering if this person would be the \u201cone\u201d. And whether I broke it off or he broke it off, there would always be disappointment in the end. Breakups are inevitable, and everyone will go through them at least once in their lifetime. It\u2019s a difficult period, but it\u2019ll help you grow.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll learn more about yourself and what you want in a person (or even don\u2019t want). Don\u2019t ever chase after anyone, either. It\u2019s reasonable to fight for the one you love, but don\u2019t ever chase them. The one you love will go where you want them to go, and stay if they want to stay. And even if they do give in and come back, that doesn\u2019t help. You should be with a person, not because you were able to convince them, but because you didn\u2019t need to. Don\u2019t ever settle for less than what you deserve, or else you\u2019ll get even less than what you settled for. You are no one\u2019s consolation prize.<\/p>\n
Be selfish when it comes to your happiness.<\/b><\/p>\n
When I say to be selfish when it comes to your happiness, I don\u2019t mean if it hurts other people (i.e. stealing, deception). I mean to be selfish when other people rob you of the opportunity to be happy.\u00a0 There are people in the world who love you and want the best for you. Learn to love yourself and don\u2019t ever let anyone keep you from the pursuit of happiness that you\u2019re entitled to.<\/p>\n
I once directed all my passion and emotions to the wrong things and wrong people, until I realized how much more fulfilling my life would be if I rerouted that energy towards my dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. And as a result, I was blessed beyond description with new opportunities. I only wish I had implemented this advice sooner in my life.<\/p>\n
Appreciate your parents and let them know that you love them as often as you can.<\/b><\/p>\n
For every second of my life, my parents have been there. You may not appreciate them when you\u2019re younger, but the older you get, the more you realize how much sacrifice, hard work, and dedication, these two people have given to give you the best opportunities in your life. The reason I graduated with a bachelor\u2019s degree is because of these two people. I\u2019d be nothing without them.<\/p>\n
So when they nag about studying and valuing your education, or discipline you for lying, know that it\u2019s because they love you and want you to be a good person of character, who makes a positive difference in this world. Your parents are the only people who will work hard to provide the best life for you.<\/p>\n
Love them while they\u2019re still alive, because when you\u2019re old and they\u2019re gone, you\u2019ll regret not appreciating them enough. So stay on the phone for a few extra minutes; don\u2019t be so eager to hang up or leave the house to go out with your friends. Cook them dinner; do some extra chores around the house. Do small things to make it easier for them to breathe.<\/p>\n
Forgive.<\/b><\/p>\n
There are so many people who have hurt me. But on the other hand, there are so many people that I have hurt, as well. The most precious gift that I\u2019ve ever received is grace and mercy. When I made mistakes and was forgiven, I felt such a relief to know that the bad blood was gone. Reciprocate love and kindness.<\/p>\n
How can you expect forgiveness from others, when you can\u2019t do the same? That girl at school who mistreated you out of jealousy? Forgive. The friend who deceived and backstabbed you? Forgive. Be compassionate, show mercy and love this person, even when they least deserve it. That\u2019s actually when they need it the most.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a sign of maturity when you understand someone has hurt you, yet you still feel the power to wish them the best. Keep on loving them. I promise you\u2019ll eventually make even a cold, unemotional person cry. Love those around you unconditionally and relentlessly.<\/p>\n
If you have a good relationship\/friendship, don\u2019t lose it over your pride.<\/b><\/p>\n
Sometimes, it\u2019s good to stand up for yourself and keep your pride. But in other circumstances, being too prideful can end up hurting you. Apologizing doesn\u2019t always mean that you\u2019re at fault and are wrong. Sometimes, it just shows that you value the relationship with the other person more than you value holding onto your pride and ego.<\/p>\n
Be productive; don\u2019t be so lazy; don\u2019t procrastinate.<\/b><\/p>\n
I wish I could\u2019ve emphasized this to my younger self. I spent all my precious time on insignificant things, and I will never get that time back. Wake up early and do what you need to do. Seize your day and own it! Wake up a few minutes earlier to get your day started. Do simple things, like leaving early so that you don\u2019t hit traffic.<\/p>\n
What a waste of a precious day to be spent sitting in traffic. Don\u2019t be so lazy about small things like charging your phone or driving until your gas meter is past empty. Nothing gives me more anxiety than when my phone battery is at less than 10 percent, or when I\u2019m paranoid that my car is going to stop on the freeway.<\/p>\n
Bad company corrupts good character.<\/b><\/p>\n
Label yourself a beautiful, extraordinary, unique person. You will realize that your reputation will be the most important thing. Surround yourself with good influences.<\/p>\n
Be a decent human being.<\/b><\/p>\n
No matter what your status is, acknowledge the small things people do for you. Nothing annoys me more than when people think they\u2019re entitled. Thank the person that takes the time to hold your door open for you, or when they let you get into their crowded lane on the road. Life is hard for everyone. We all have struggles; we all have worries.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re all trying to make it. No decent human being should build his or her happiness on another person\u2019s pain. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Don\u2019t have a cold, unsympathetic heart. Be kind to your waiter, or to the janitor at your school. Nothing is worse than an ungrateful person. Evaluate yourself, be respectful, and stay humble.<\/p>\n
Be grateful for everything.<\/b><\/p>\n
Big or small, appreciate the things that you\u2019re blessed with, whether it\u2019s good health, an opportunity to have an education, your family, your friends, the roof over your head, or something as simple as an umbrella when it\u2019s raining. I\u2019m grateful and thankful for the sounds of laughter coming from the people I love in my life. When you remind yourself what you\u2019re blessed with (rather than what you wish you had), you end up living a more fulfilling life.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t have expectations.<\/b><\/p>\n
They can lead to disappointment. Have goals and dreams, but don\u2019t have expectations. Sometimes we expect more from others just because we would be willing to do that much for them, but that\u2019s what leads to disappointment. Do things for others without expecting anything in return. That way when you do get something, you\u2019ll be happy, but if you don\u2019t get anything, you\u2019ll be content, as well.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t hold back on your dreams because you\u2019re embarrassed about what people will say.<\/b><\/p>\n
I wanted so badly to do many things in my life. I held back, though, because I was worried about what my peers would say. As a result, I gave up those opportunities and ended up witnessing other people live the life that I dreamed of. Go after the passions and aspirations that you have in your life now. You do only live once, so why not live the life you dream of?<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll feel the most pain when you witness good people go through the worst things.<\/b><\/p>\n
When you watch your mom and dad work hard for what they have and it crumbles before their eyes, you\u2019ll feel the most pain. When you watch your grandparents feel the repercussions of backaches and leg problems from decades of working hard labor jobs, you\u2019ll feel the most pain.\u00a0 The best solution to that is to remind these people that they\u2019re precious and loved.<\/p>\n
The secret to living a happy life is to let go.<\/b><\/p>\n
Let go of pain; let go of anger; let go of regret; let go of resentment; let go of the past; let go of mistakes; let go of the ex; let go of the disappointment. Surrender it all. Why hold onto the negatives? You don\u2019t have room for it. You want to clear out the junk to make room for the good things. And in life, it\u2019s the same principle. If you hold onto all the pain and negativity, you\u2019re only preventing room for the good things to enter your life. There is always a purpose or reason why certain people are removed from your life.<\/p>\n
Think about that when you decide to hold onto, or chase after them. Cut out the negativity. It\u2019s a waste of space in your heart and life. How amazing is it to stay silent when someone expects you to lash out in anger? How wonderful is it to laugh when someone believes that you are going to shed tears from pain? Let go of the things that hold you back, and you\u2019ll realize how truly beautiful your life really is.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
-Unknown Author<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Executive Kevin Cummings, President and CEO on Investors Bank, shared this magnificent, awe-inspiring bit of writing with Michael Reuter and the Leadership Team last week. These words are simple and… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1558,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-team-insight"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1558"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1542"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1545,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1542\/revisions\/1545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blogs.shu.edu\/StillmanLeaders\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}